(Spork of the gods.)
"Every mythic hero normally has an equally mythic weapon. Zeus had his thunderbolts. Thor had his hammer, Mjolnir. King Arthur had his Excalibur. Frodo and Bilbo had their Sting. Rhydderch Hael had his Dyrnwyn. King Kong had his bananas…you get the idea. It's time for you to join the ranks of the heroes and heroines of lore as you wield your own legendary weapon in your battle against a very powerful foe: hunger."
(My own Hephaestus.)
With a description like that, you know I just had to have one. Luckily for me, my good friend, Mr. Big, thought so as well. I don't know what fiery mountain depths he forged it in, but I'm now the proud owner of a Snow Peak Titanium Spork. Look out, Thor. Watch your back, Zeus. Chubbypanda has joined your ranks. I hereby dub my spork "Sporky Coleslawfoe!"
(Japanese == Efficient)
Snow Peak has produced quality outdoor products for over 50 years. The Titanium Spork is part of their line of lightweight, durable dining equipment for extreme backpackers.
Since titanium is resistant to salt, corrosion, and metal fatigue, it's the perfect substance for the ultimate spork. Heck, they make jet engines, aircraft carriers, missiles, and tanks out of this stuff. What's the worst I can do to it?
(Powerful containment magics.)
It's like the first spork there ever was; raw, savage, primal, and noble. The spork against which all other sporks will forever be measured. The god-spork.
(Everything I dreamed it could be.)
At last, a spork large enough and strong enough to hold the perfect mouthful. Just wait until I get me some KFC coleslaw.
Available at ThinkGeek.com and a number of sports retailers.