Fridge? Some leftover tomato soup and lotsa raw ingredients. Screw cooking. Push on.
Freezer. A few of Cat's emergency TV dinners (ain't touchin' those) and lotsa raw, frozen ingredients. Crap. I'm really getting hungry now.
Snack cupboard. Trusty old cupboard. You won't let me down. I believe in you. Whadda ya have for me today? Tins of chicken noodle soup, a few packets of kimchee ramen, and some candy bars. This is what I get for forgetting to hit Costco this weekend.
Great, some assembly required for everything other than the candy. Dammit, I'm an American! Instant gratification is my god-given right. I live in the land of plenty. Surely there must be a place nearby where I can get something decent to eat before bed. Aw hell. I forgot. I live in Irvine, the city of plenty, but only until 9:00pm. I'm facing a valley of dearth, beset on all sides by the tawdry temptations of fast food and the tyranny of the Irvine Company.
Chowhound. Chowhound will show me the way. Let's see, late night places in Orange County... Too far, can't make it in time, can't make it in time, too far, too far and scary as hell at night- hang on a second. Lee's Sandwiches in Westminster, eh? Definitely too far, but I think there's one near UCI. That's doable. I can get there, score some grub, and be in bed by 1:30am. Gotta be rested for work early tomorrow.
Wow, this place looks awfully superficial. That doesn't bode well for the food. Meh, it's Irvine. Everything is polished. I've still got a shot at style with substance. Why hello pretty counter girl, bahn mi me baby!
Now we're talking. Rub a dub dub, time for some grub.
Hot Wings - Huh. Came from a tray under a heat lamp. Heat lamps aren't evil; they're just the tools of evil. Mmm... Crispy, salty, spicy, chickeny. This stuff is pretty good. Is chickeny even a word? I've definitely been awake for too long.
Shrimp & Pork Spring Rolls - Uh oh. Came prepackaged. Hey! Who are they kidding!?! If this crap is goi cuon, I'm a flag-waving Chinese Communist. Flavorless shrimp, dry and tough BBQ pork, and shredded Romaine lettuce. Where are the herbs? Where's the flavor? Oooh! Thai basil leaf! Bah. Tastes like grass. Maybe the sauce will help. ... So this stuff is like hoisin with peanut butter and oil, eh? Awesome. Instead of flavorless goi cuon I now have goi cuon that tastes like ass. Mr. Garbage Bin, meet Ms. Goi Cuon. Awww... Don't you two make a cute couple.
#4 Grilled Chicken Sandwich - Hefty. Not bad. The meat is pleasant. Good pickles:meat:cilantro:jalapeno ratio. Mayo used sparingly. Baguette is kinda chewy, though. Seems a bit dry and stale. At least they used the right pickles. It's not Westminster/Garden Grove good, but it'll do. I'm just happy I'm not at the bloody Taco Bell.
Might be the goi cuon talking, but let's go for broke.
Medium Gelato Cup (half durian/half honeydew) - Aww jeez. How long has this been in the case? It's gooey and lumpy. I can't tell which is which, and they both have that nasty sugar-crystal crust you get when ice cream sits in the freezer for too long. Mr. Gelato, meet Mr. Garbage Bin and Ms. Goi Cuon. Uh oh, it's a three-way love triangle. That's not tasty.
Time to get my ass home and into bed, with a brief stop to post this.
Lee's Sandwiches in Irvine: If you're hungry early in the AM and you want to avoid hitting the nearest McCrap Shack equivalent, you could do a lot worse. But stick to the sandwiches; it's safer.
Bill (for one):
Hot Wings (5 pieces) - 2.75
Shrimp & Pork Spring Rolls - 2.50
#4 Grilled Chicken Sandwich - 2.45
Medium Gelato Cup - 3.64
Tax - 0.59
Tip - 0.00 (Not the type of place where you leave one.)
Total - 11.93
ROI: A (As long as you're careful.)
4127 Campus Dr. @ University Center
Irvine, CA 92612
Open daily from 8:00am - 2:00am
Aww hell, I've gone corporate food whoring again. Here's the list.